Parenting never ceases even when they're not physically in your presence..... Even the word I don't like, "step-parent," continues to exist even when the kids aren't with us. I was reminded of that yesterday when I texted another parent and identified myself as my daughter's other mom. She responded you mean step-parent and I said no, i don't like like the term. For some reason step-parent has a negative connotation... You know Cinderella and the wicked step-mother or the stereo type of the sexually abusing step-father..... I just don't Iike the unspoken ideas that come with the word step-mother or step parent...it truly doesn't capture my hope for my children and creates a divide in the family (like because i didnt birth them, i dont care them) .Maybe that's just me. Oh we'll i digress.
Well, yest i had to go into parent mode due to my daughters interaction on Instagram and she wasn't even with us. For the purpose of this blog we gonna call my daughter, Belle. Yes, Belle is on Instagram just like most in the world. Though it can get rather crazy with adolescents and Instagram. So many different avenues that they can use for foolery.... And it's big distraction. Anyways, Belle asked a question (on instagram) of her "boo" that her father and I felt was inappropriate. (Side bar: if your children have Instagram, I advise that you follow them, etc to insure pictures and content is appropriate).
So although belle was not with us... I gave correction via Instagram to her and her "boo" and also let her mom know as well. Yeah I know, I'm not the cool mom... But I don't care... Being cool and teaching my daughter to be the best woman she can be, don't necessarily go hand and hand, at times lol.
So I did what I thought had to be done. When she returns there will be a follow up discussion. But in the mean time,I contacted her "boo's" mom who didn't view it as a big deal. Woosah! I didn't argue back in forth... I simply stated that its inappropriate and my daughter is a lady and that I wanted to keep her in the loop as his parent.
I'm learning more and more that I don't have to prove my point or go tit for tat. State your case and roll out. It's okay if they don't agree. (And I love healthy debates lol... So this is growth)
Parenting doesn't stop. Eek and the grief I gave my parents going thru the dating phase, has a whole new meaning!
I definitely agree with cyber parenting. After a few mistakes with public commenting getting him harassed I stopped but it was still definitely discussed. That resolved that, sometimes the sidebar conversations are more effective, and still have to be had on a regular basis. As far as the step parent, yes there's a negative connotation attached. I lived life as a "bonus" parent, with "bonus" daughters when I was married. I had conversation with one of the mothers, we actually had good open communication with this particular mom. When my son was born, she asked me to come for a visit so she could see the baby he was about 3 mobths at the time. Of course we did the cooing and all. Then I told her I had been missing, for the sake of privacy let's say, "Cindy". She said I know and I know you love her. Cindy comes home all the time talking about you and how much she loves you and your son. She said I already know you love her like you birthed her because Cindy would come home and tell me if you were not good to her. That meant so much to me because all that knew me knew I was in love with those two little girls. Although I'm divorced, I still care for them today as if they were mine. It was so vitally important to me to be the woman they needed to nurture them. Fast forward to a few years ago when I was almost married again, blended family situation too. Tough with the son this go around in the beginning. He was a brat. He even admits that now lol, but this child, even though me and his dad didn't make it to the alter still calls me Ma to this day and loves me to pieces. My love for him really broke him down and we developed a beautiful relationship. We are still close to this day and he's an adult now!! Keep up the "good" work. Excellent job, one day "Belle" and the others will appreciate all you're trying to teach them!! I promise and keep praying for them! Love you all lots, keep planting seeds of love they will blossom beautifully!! ;-)
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