For Food Lovers: Foodie Penpals (August 2013)

I'm person who's always seeking new things and exploring...even when it comes to food. I think when I gain weight it's mainly because I get bored with food. Well, I came across this website that has Foodie  Penpals where you send food to a pal.  I thought, hey this is different and this would be a fun way to explore new foods. i'mmma try it.

I told my foodie penpal, Ashely that my taste buds were seeking to discover more crunchy and sweet healthy snacks. Here's what came in my box. Boy oh boy was I excited! 

To know that there's a delivery on your doorstep is awesome and it's filled with sweet and crunchy treats!  Oh yeah! Fist pump!   The Roasted veggie tortilla chips are delicious :)  I can't wait to try the  Salsa Fresca ricesworks gourmet brown rice crisps! Then I have a chocolate theme going with the other treats: odwalla choc-walla nourishing bar, chocchippeanut protein bar (which will be great after or before my workouts), chocolate Belgrade breakfast biscuits, Special K pastry crisps chocolatey caramel & chocolate. My husband and I shared the chocolate pastry crisps last night. It hit the spot for a low cal dessert (100 calories shared means only 50 calls a piece woo hoo Winning!!). All that's left is the wrapper lol. Ashely hit the nail on the head :) with the items in my foodie penpal box wee hee! Here's some close ups on the items just in case you want to check them out yourself :) 

 I can't wait till next month :) 

School Forms Suck!

I guess over the last school year and this school year, I've come to the conclusion that completing school forms suck. Not only do they come as duplicates when you have more than one child, they do not represent the change in families.

The forms generally say parent/guardian or mother/father, they don't speak to different kinds of families. They don't speak to families that are blended, different, or have more than two parents. 

Which brings me back to yesterday when the slew of papers came home with the kids on a day in which we have them... So of course my middle son gives them to me... And what do I do, I fill them out  and when it gets to the mother part... What do i put ? I put my name and their mother's name. So for those lines I put both. The kids mother asked if she could stop by to see the kids on the first day no problem.... Until she finds out I'm filling out paperwork. She sends Swag in to get the papers which I had already completed.  Needless to say, when the papers returned there was crossed off information and stuff added ... Notably (mother) in parentheses where I had already written her name or a crossed out phone number (she crossed out her number that i had written and rewrote it over top of my name). She later called my husband and said she had a problem with my name being on the line that said mother and that I excluded her. 

Sigh. Here we go again. I get it. She is upset that it's not just her name on the form and as long as forms come to this house it won't be. It is no longer her and my husband but it is the three of us parenting. I am not taking away from her being the mother and we will all be on the forms. I feel like she has not totally accepted this. I can't lie and say that this situation doesn't anger me because it does. 1. I hate being lied on like I would purposefully not include her. 2. I am not a mother of them when it's convenient for her or anyone else, i am a mother all the time and that started the day I married my husband. So not only do they have a bio mom but they have a bonus mom as well---3 parents. What hurts the most is that these are little messages that our children are receiving while she's asking for forms and crossing out things.

Disappointing.

Maybe I should advocate for a change in forms to reflect differences in families. After all, I am a social worker, and a part of job is advocacy. I'm thinking the forms should just say Parents and have at least 3 to 4 lines.

School year prep: getting Down to business!

Yesterday marked the 1st day of school for Charles county so that meant the  1st day of school for our kiddies and the start of my 2nd yr as a mother of 3 school aged children (1 in elem., jr high, & high school). Yikes!!

As a part of entering into the family, I've tried to establish routines so that the consistency will help them. Last year before the school year, we set our academic goals. This year we did the same, but we added an evaluation of what worked (household wise) last year as what needed tweaking. 

I will say that it felt good to come together as a family and to dream together. I think it's important to teach our children to set goals and to strive to reach them. Plus I believe something happens when we write, verbalize, and visualize their dreams. We read our dreams and goals to one another:) Lastly, We topped the night
off with some red velvet cupcakes and prayer. Here's some pics from our planning night:)

Here's a pic from their first day :) Speedy tiger, Belle, Swag

Single grocery shopping vs family grocery shopping

I've always enjoyed grocery shopping. Something about going thru the aisles, finding the best deals, and finding my favorites has always been therapeutic for me. As a single woman, I had my grocery bill down to a science and I had the luxury of deciding when or if I would eat. ohhhh but I Am Newlywed lol! My how things have changed. My grocery bill ha!! My favorites (house full of fruit) have become too expensive and were gone in a matter of days with kids in the house. Get this, kids eat all the time! Especially when they are bored lol! And! Kids Have to eat at least the minimum of 3 full meals  a day! So no deciding,hey y'all just not gonna eat right now, like I could do as a single. 

So what did I do! Well, I did what I do most times when I don't know something.... Tried various experiments... not so successful... regrouped...Then went to my fav place that has all the answers..... drum roll... i went to the library with two goals.... Save money and learn how to shop for families.

I got a book called click and coupon:) awesome read:). It taught me how to shop. One of the tips was that you make your weekly menu/ shop by the stuff that's on sale instead of just shopping for the things you want. So I tried that first. It worked!!! I was able to save so much money as I didn't pay full price for anything. Now I have a mantra that my goal is to not pay full price for anything :)  in addition to making that change, I got exposed to the world of couponing! Omg!! I was amazed at how a little planning and snipping went so far! I've gotten free floss, snacks for the kids, rita's ice, and cut down on my grocery bill:) I combine my coupons with the sales papers to get the optimum deals:) I love saving money:) and guess what... There are websites that tell u the best deals and what coupons go with deal! Love it! My husband didn't understand it but now he does. He would say if I hear you say you have a coupon for that one more time lol!  I get stuff for .55  or lower and that's when I buy 2 or 3 which holds me over to the next sales etc. Little changes like this work :) wee hee I'm not too young to coupon! 

In fact, I wish I did this in my single state as I would have saved more money!!

Back to school already?!!

It's approximately 6 more days until my kids start school. I can't believe that time has gone so fast. I had an opportunity to go over my summer things to do list .... The list I create for my kids and things I wanted to do with my husband.... And I'll have you know that we completed the majority of things we set out to do:) wee hee! I just love maximizing the time we have. ... The stuff we didn't get to do yet  like rock climbing and horse back riding we will carry over into the fall :) wee hee soon my list will be completed.  More than anything I dislike feeling like I let time slip thru my hands .... That just burns me up. So cheers to all the list makers out there lol!! This was my first year making a list for my family;)

Below is my summer list... We still have more to conquer but I feel good about what we accomplished:)

Camping - twice    Couple/family 👍

Horseback riding -must

Water park or tubing - maybe

Museums w/boys- 👍

Beach -  👍

Zoo - 👍

Aquarium - maybe

Paddle boat - maybe

Family vacation- 👍

Bike riding boys  - 👍

Go-cart - 

Skating - 

Bowling  family - 👍

Cookout ladies - 👍

Winery tour and B and B - 👍

Rebel race - 👍

Rock climbing terrapin adventures - 👍

Picnic - date night

Summer is coming to a close & now starts the prep & planning for the school year. I've already gotten some of the school supplies (I stay looking for coupons and sales)....we also do a dream and vision board before the start of school:) I think this year imma add an hour of personal time for each of my 3 kids. 3 hrs out of the week. I'mma see how to make it happen.  Here's to my 2nd year as a school mommy! What do you all do for your children to make the start of the  school year special?

It's just one of them days...

I remember a song by the artist Monica... "It's just one of them days that a girl goes thru, when I'm angry inside, don't want to take it out on you"  Oh how I loved that song...ha ha and i still do. I believe it was talking about pms and the emotions that come with it.

I don't think I hear too many women talk about their pms and how it could effect their marriage or family for that matter. Well, this may be TMI for some but oh well it's purging time. I think as a single woman who lived on her own, I realized that I was emotional during a certain time  but it didn't affect anyone but me since I lived alone... Well me and my cat. I mean I would watch movies and cry over silly parts (I'm already a cryer but it'd be much worse). I wouldn't want to be around anyone and I'd just chill in my house. It didn't really affect anyone but me. But it's different when you have a family and husband. You can't just run away or seclude yourself once a month.... Even if I tried I'm sure they'd find me lol. Anyways,  I noticed that during those times the littlest thing irritated me or I felt attacked..... Crying, full of anger, things seems way more intense then they really are, etc. oh how I hate it lol.  But then once that period passes (ha ha pun intended) I'm fine. It's like a sense of normalcy. I'm normally able to communicate "hey babe i feel a little down and i'm trippin" but last month was out of control.  I mean my husband told me later, he was like, I just wanted my wife back. So I got to the bottom of it.... Guess what it was?!' Coffee!!! Over this last month my intake of coffee has been overboard. Now I knew that coffee affected me and I had stopped (my doctor told me some time ago about caffeine) but i guess the taste of coffee made me forget and i got back on the wagon. The caffeine in coffee increases pms symptoms, irritability, fatigue, breast tenderness, mood swings, period irregularity, etc. all that. So after analyzing my behavior, which i do often, the caffeine has got to go! I felt so bad for wanting to rip my husbands face off  And of course i apologized. So I have to do what i know:) eliminate the caffeine and work out! 

But would you know that even thru my rough period, my husband had set up a date for me. This guy!  Regardless of the funk that I was in he loved me thru it, gave me space, forgave me, and even had a date waiting in the wind (he said he arranged the date at the height of my emotions). Lawd, he reminds of me of God the father! Here are some pics from our date

Surviving vacation! Mason's Adventures!

Just came back from a camping trip with the family which was comprised of our 3 children, my little cousin, & our kid's half-sister (Tron's ex wife's daughter). Had me thinking, do I really want to have a huge family lol. Overall, it wasn't that bad....except for getting bit by a bug or two ... We had a great time!  Moments here & there...but overall the kids had fun, with the exception of Belle, who feels she is beyond camping trips, unless her boyfriend is invited. Would you believe that she asked if her "boyfriend" could go with us? Lawd, on one hand I was like that chick crazy, lol while on the other hand, had to admire her guts for even asking. 

Anyways...Since being a part of a big family, I'm getting better at the concept of saving money and having fun. Our entire camping trip/vacation cost maybe $600 (food and activities included)  in comparison to a 3k cruise. Everything we needed was at the campsite:) pool, basketball court, volleyball, hopskotch, waterslide, etc. We cooked our food over the campfire :) pancakes, eggs, bacon,grilled cheese, tacos, quesadillas, corn, popcorn, marshmallows, smores,etc. Made it happen! Creativity saves money and a little planning goes a long way.

In addition, to that we sowed into my husbands ex-wife's life and my little cousins life....which brings me joy:) One of my dreams was to have their little sister and their mom to go on vacation together. This year we got the sister. :) who knows, maybe one day the mom will come too. It's a start. Plus, above all, love conquers all and my husband and I will continue to show the love of God thru our giving. After all, that's what it all about:) 

Check out some pics :)

 

When Date Night Goes Wrong....

I wish I could say that I'm the most perfect wife...and that I do almost everything right....but I can't...I  really wish I could but I can't. I wish I could say that I even knew why I act the way I do in real time moments, but most times I don't. I'm what you call a slow processor...I normally get "it" after the fact.....the chief analyzer. So most times I won't respond in the  moment....but maybe a day or so later...or there are sometimes where I will respond in the moment. Guess it depends on the weather lol.

Like yesterday. Tuesday is our normal date night and it was going well until.... well, I felt left out of a conversation that my husband had with our daughter. One thing I can't stand is feeling left out. Anyways, when superman says he had a talk with Belle...and i ask oh how'd it go?...his response is, it went well. So I prod more...because "it went well" tells me nothing and then he shuts down on me. So I expressed my feelings, " i don't like it when..... i feel...you know, the express your feelings jib.  Regroup and move on. So we had fun during our dinner...we sought to either bless a couple or our waiter. We decided on the waiter and so we blessed him really well. Giving always puts us in a good mood. So as we're headed out, I start playing, putting my finger in his ear etc. To make a long story short, I wanted to bite him on his nose (lol it's a love nibble, not too hard, tho I have once before, bitten him too hard...but i 've learned)...and he was like ummm no i don't like it. And for some reason I just had to nibble on his nose ....my way of professing my love, but he wouldn't let me. He nibbles my nose all the time...mainly because he knows I love it...this is prob TMI...but oh well. Needless to say, he was like love shouldn't cause pain ....and that my love is wrong. Ok. Volcano erupts. IAMNEWLYWED. I am done for the night. I go to sleep angry. Wake up angry. He wants to talk. I don't. I want to run. I bake cookies. He wants to talk. I don't.

There are even moments where I actually want to let go and talk. I don't. I hold on. I was telling a colleague today about the situation and how I knew I was wrong...and I knew this issue was not the source of my anger.  It's funny that I actually didn't have peaceful sleep because superman wouldn't let me nibble on his nose. I battled with rationalizing that it was because he said my love was wrong....but in actuality thats not even it. Its not it at all. I know I probably should have journaled all of my emotions before seeing superman yesterday evening. My anger started long before he even got home. It started with the result of a pregnancy test. Only one stripe, not two. Thoughts of being a failure because in spite of all the information I consumed about pregnancy, the test read only one stripe. Period is late, but one stripe. I've had many dreams of pregnancy all this month. Only one stripe.

So in essence, I used my husband to unleash all the anger I could. I woke up angry and wanted to scratch his eyeballs out.....though he was not the reasoning behind the anger. Then I was disappointed with  myself for being so angry and mean to him on today. Sometimes the ones closest to it reap the harvest of seeds that haven't even sowed. I'm guilty. I'm sorry for not connecting my feelings earlier.

From physical parenting to cyber-parenting: it never ends!

Fresh off of gaining a Zumba license and a staycation with superman, now it's back into the swing of things. 

Parenting never ceases even when they're not physically in your presence..... Even the word I don't like, "step-parent," continues to exist even when the kids aren't with us. I was reminded of that yesterday when I texted another parent and identified myself as my daughter's other mom. She responded you mean step-parent and I said no, i don't like like the term. For some reason step-parent has a negative connotation... You know Cinderella and the wicked step-mother or the stereo type of the sexually abusing step-father..... I just don't Iike the unspoken ideas that come with the word step-mother or step parent...it truly doesn't capture my hope for my children and creates a divide in the family (like because i didnt birth them, i dont care them) .Maybe that's just me. Oh we'll i digress.

Well, yest i had to go into parent mode due to my daughters interaction on Instagram and she wasn't even with us.  For the purpose of this blog we gonna call my daughter, Belle. Yes, Belle is on Instagram just like most in the world. Though it can get rather crazy with adolescents and Instagram. So many different avenues that they can use for foolery.... And it's big distraction. Anyways, Belle asked a question  (on instagram) of her "boo" that her father and I felt was inappropriate. (Side bar: if your children have Instagram, I advise that you follow them, etc to insure pictures and content is appropriate).

So although belle was not with us... I gave correction via Instagram to her and her "boo" and also let her mom know as well. Yeah I know, I'm not the cool mom... But I don't care... Being cool and teaching my daughter to be the best woman she can be, don't necessarily go hand and hand, at times lol.

So I did what I thought had to be done. When she returns there will be a follow up discussion. But in the mean time,I contacted her "boo's" mom who didn't view it as a big deal. Woosah! I didn't argue back in forth... I simply stated that its inappropriate and my daughter is a lady and that I wanted to keep her in the loop as his parent.

I'm learning more and more that I don't have to prove my point or go tit for tat. State your case and roll out. It's okay if they don't agree. (And I love healthy debates lol... So this is growth)

Parenting doesn't stop. Eek and the grief I gave my parents going thru the dating phase, has a whole new meaning!

Dreams vs. Marriage?! Which wins?!!

I thought I'd have time to write a new post yesterday, but I didn't. After taking the Zumba training to become a licensed zumba instructor, I was beyond pooped. As we speak  my abs, ham strings, and glutes are soooore but i got that license lol. It's official, I'm licensed to teach Zumba, a goal that was on this years dream board:) One marked off the list lol *insert fist pump*

Dream,dreams,dreams!!! I have so many and thank God for a husband who encourages them all. Special kudos to those who've married free spirits and dreamers ..... Cuz we have different dreams by the seconds and minutes. It def takes a special kind to support and nurture us:) I ain't Lyin!

Well this morning, superman and I were taking about our dreams and how they have changed etc. From time to time we do family and marriage devotional (crosswalk.com) and this one had the following questions:

Have you ever had to give up any of your dreams for someone?
• How do you feel now about those old dreams?
• What new dreams do you have for yourself and for us as a couple?

How will you help each other to accomplish your dreams?

How ironic because I'd already planned to write this post. 

Reflecting, in the beginning of "IAMNEWLYWED" state, i was angry, because I felt I had to give up some of my dreams to be what I thought a family should be. I took off singing for a while to adjust to married life when I didn't have to.... But that's what I thought I had to do.... Only after talking to superman did I realize I didn't have to. 

Now, I think that I can have my dreams and be married. I do feel that there is something that I have to relinquish as a result of being married... And that is the impulsivity... The having what I want when I want it... I have to give that up.  So sometimes as it concerns some of my dreams, I have to exhibit patience and trust in God that "my time" will not escape me. Just like in the case of Zumba... I originally wanted to do it last August but our family was in the process of moving and so I waited.  "My time" didn't escape me, even though I got the license a year later.  I'm learning that I don't trust God as much as I thought. I'm working on it tho! In the meantime, let the Zumba parties commence!!