I remember being single and how much I talked about sex...like why would God say no premarital sex when I'm such a sexual being...the rules i put in place so as to obstain from sex before marriage...the times I'd fallen and failed To resist it.All that. The guilt. The passion. All that. I remember sex before marriage.
Now I'm married. I'm supposed to be sexin out of my mind, right?
I'm def not sexin out of my mind. We have sex but not as often as I'd like (because of me) and I have guilt because of it. In fact, one of my goals for 2014 is to have more sex... because my husband loves it and needs it.
More than anything marriage has made me aware of what sex means to my husband and what it means to me.
Personally, Sex for me is not a necessity. I like it and I enjoy it (Mr. yum yum puts it down lol), but for me, I love cuddling and being nestled in my husbands arm.. Laughing and talking... That's sex to me. When I was single and having sex... It was a way for me to have someone hold me... Quality time... It wasn't for the sex.
Now, sex for my husband is one of the ways he loves to express his love. Ha ha love is prob an understatement. He needs it too for his mental health... Two days without some yum yum lawd is like pms for him. I love that I know him so well.
We have different meanings and needs as it concerns sex, that's obvious, but it's important to be aware of what sex means to each other. Cause sex after marriage is not about you. It's about your mate. It's about love. Once you find out what sex means to your mate, the love in your heart for them makes you want to rise to the occasion and please them.
Great self evaluation.
ReplyDeletethank for taking the time out to read:)
DeleteVERY WELL Said! Thank you for saying it. It is honest and real. It is about the other person. And I can relate, i prefer to cuddle too and I could see myself not "needing" the act as much as him- but giving because thats what it is... a giving of one's self. And what is talked about is that he too is giving- II heard a man describe pleasing his mate as providing- it made it feel like a provider. And as a very independent woman, I can attest that sometimes I just have to let him provide. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeletethanks for taking the time to read :) appreciate ie
DeleteLOVE IT! I am doing a documentary on this very subject...sex..lol. Well, more specifically sex within the body of Christ. As one who has literally been waiting an entire lifetime to have sex, reading and hearing women talk about sex within marriage and/or the lack thereof is always fascinating to me. In my mind I am going to be having sex at least 20 days out of the month. But..perhaps I will not. Perhaps what I crave is closer to what Tea is describing.
ReplyDeleteI do have a question, which is something that I often ask women when interrogating them on the subject. How much do you married ladies think that outside influences such as children, job, sick parents etc influence your desire to have sex with your husband. If you were having sex prior to marriage was it more frequent and if so why do you think that it changed. Do your reasons mirror what Tea describes or do they vary?
yes the responsibilities can def have an effect...tired.com...lol...and our emotions of course
DeleteWell said! Love it!
ReplyDeletethanks for taking the time out read
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