Wowzers, the last time I blogged was in April.... 3 months ago....and in 3 months so much has changed. I guess the biggest change is that we're adding a +1 to our family....the never ending Cosby Show. So we're going from a family of 7 to 8. Now that I think about it, the last time I blogged, I was pregnant then and didn't even know it.
Ha! I'm 4 months and some change. Since the realization of the positive plus sign, I'm reading books on babies, preparing my mind for the life changes, still working out and teaching exercise classes, trying to control the incredible hulk (that wants to come out especially when denied certain foods), preparing the kids for the change that is to come, etc. All that and then some.
Things have been going so fast, that I just wanted to take a moment and truly reflect on how we arrived here...ha ha besides the obvious deed that had to be done lol!
As you all know, I got married November 2011...and it's always been my dream to birth children. I mean I have pictures and vision boards with pregnant ladies with my head stuck on them etc, all that. I seem to always start with a vision board or some type of physical representation to visualize what it is that I want. Verbalize. Visualize, Materialize. ....though I think I actually visualize first, verbalize, then it materializes lol.
So when I got married, I knew from the jump that I did not want to have children right away, and that I wanted to be married for 2 years before adding a baby into the picture. I was already marrying into an instant family so I wanted to adjust to having children and being married....def didn't want to do all things at one time. Though I knew I wasn't planning on having children in that first year it didn't stop me from buying my first onesie:) that I kept on a night shade in my room for 2 1/2 years:) I firmly believe in the principle that faith is acting on what you believe.
I continued to do stuff like this throughout the years. Throughout the summer, I would attend garage sales as well. I've always loved garage sales and so when I would see stuff that increased my vision, I would pick it up. Last fall, I got several cute unisex, practically new onesies, and day outfits for my baby. It only cost me a $1 or two to increase my vision. Ooh and I saw this cute bathing suit that I just couldn't resist. I set this bag right under the lampshade in my room.
Now when my husband and I decided to actually put forth the effort to make a baby and take other steps (like getting van in advance) to accommodate the growth and even adding stickers of the new baby to the van....something unexpected happened (See post :2 yrs in and angry with God! *Shakes fist*). I wont' go into entire ordeal, but lets just say that the van that I got for my future baby was already filled to capacity....but not with children from my womb.
So yes, I had my moments compounded with the act of trying to making a baby...compounded with the prior history of having a miscarriage in my early 20s (those instances try to wreak havoc in your mind)....and lastly not even realizing the science behind the timing, etc...def a bit more complicated then I thought. It was so frustrating. I mean the mere sight of my menses would send me into tears. I felt like a failure every time I saw my menses. I can remember crying to my husband feeling like I let him down. The hardest part for me is that I could not control it. I couldn't physically take his sperm and put it where I wanted and say Voila! I had to wait, be patient, and keep the faith.
Now during those times did i feel down....yes...oh but when you have a great mate and friends who speak life and not death to your situation. It really makes a difference. My husband always encouraged me...he would say things like, "You wait until little Psalm comes on the scene." He would hold me as I cried, yet he still spoke life. My friends would encourage me (thank God for my sisters support and circle) and then God would stick his foot in my butt and direct back to my words and my vision. One of my friends encouraged me to do a pregnancy vision board....and on the back I put scriptures that spoke to me. I hung this on the lamp shade. During the times I became discouraged, I went back to this.
There also came a point where, I stopped obsessing and trying to control the process and just let it go. And alas, here we are:). I am pregnant!....and it's not just because we followed the scientific process...but I believe it's because we acted on our faith and what we believed...that in a nutshell is how I got pregnant!
Ha! I'm 4 months and some change. Since the realization of the positive plus sign, I'm reading books on babies, preparing my mind for the life changes, still working out and teaching exercise classes, trying to control the incredible hulk (that wants to come out especially when denied certain foods), preparing the kids for the change that is to come, etc. All that and then some.
Things have been going so fast, that I just wanted to take a moment and truly reflect on how we arrived here...ha ha besides the obvious deed that had to be done lol!
As you all know, I got married November 2011...and it's always been my dream to birth children. I mean I have pictures and vision boards with pregnant ladies with my head stuck on them etc, all that. I seem to always start with a vision board or some type of physical representation to visualize what it is that I want. Verbalize. Visualize, Materialize. ....though I think I actually visualize first, verbalize, then it materializes lol.
So when I got married, I knew from the jump that I did not want to have children right away, and that I wanted to be married for 2 years before adding a baby into the picture. I was already marrying into an instant family so I wanted to adjust to having children and being married....def didn't want to do all things at one time. Though I knew I wasn't planning on having children in that first year it didn't stop me from buying my first onesie:) that I kept on a night shade in my room for 2 1/2 years:) I firmly believe in the principle that faith is acting on what you believe.I continued to do stuff like this throughout the years. Throughout the summer, I would attend garage sales as well. I've always loved garage sales and so when I would see stuff that increased my vision, I would pick it up. Last fall, I got several cute unisex, practically new onesies, and day outfits for my baby. It only cost me a $1 or two to increase my vision. Ooh and I saw this cute bathing suit that I just couldn't resist. I set this bag right under the lampshade in my room.Now when my husband and I decided to actually put forth the effort to make a baby and take other steps (like getting van in advance) to accommodate the growth and even adding stickers of the new baby to the van....something unexpected happened (See post :2 yrs in and angry with God! *Shakes fist*). I wont' go into entire ordeal, but lets just say that the van that I got for my future baby was already filled to capacity....but not with children from my womb.
Now during those times did i feel down....yes...oh but when you have a great mate and friends who speak life and not death to your situation. It really makes a difference. My husband always encouraged me...he would say things like, "You wait until little Psalm comes on the scene." He would hold me as I cried, yet he still spoke life. My friends would encourage me (thank God for my sisters support and circle) and then God would stick his foot in my butt and direct back to my words and my vision. One of my friends encouraged me to do a pregnancy vision board....and on the back I put scriptures that spoke to me. I hung this on the lamp shade. During the times I became discouraged, I went back to this.
There also came a point where, I stopped obsessing and trying to control the process and just let it go. And alas, here we are:). I am pregnant!....and it's not just because we followed the scientific process...but I believe it's because we acted on our faith and what we believed...that in a nutshell is how I got pregnant!
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