5 Things Single Women Should Know Before Considering Marriage!

In the beginning of December, I had the awesome opportunity of attending a girlfriend's b-day brunch. I don't take for granted the times when I can celebrate my friends and get away from the kids for a quick sec. So while we were there, the b-day girl asked for the married women to share with her single friends about what they needed to know about marriage. You know after a certain age...us women be in wait...waiting for our knight in shining armor. I know before I was married...from about age 25-27, I went thru that phase. The conversation was awesome and it was a great effort to dispel the notion of gumdrops and lollipops and fairy tales that are associated with wedding and marriage.

 Now, the married women in attendance were diverse in nature: some were newlyweds, divorcees, some had children,  and some didn't. So there was a wealth of information and I love conversations like these. I feel women do not share as much as they should with other women and so a lot of mistakes are repeated instead of learning vicariously through another woman's experience. Anyways, I digress. SO from the conversation, I got this:

5 Things Single Women Should Know Before Considering Marriage 

1. Know yourself. 
It's amazing how many women do not spend time mastering who they are before entering relationships. I mean truly understanding yourself and being aware of your strengths as well as one's areas of improvement. Know what you like and dislike...and that only comes with spending time with yourself and God. When you truly know yourself, you will grasp what you will tolerate and or not tolerate....which will save you a lot of time...as you won't be easily swayed or tossed to and fro just to be captured by a man or keep the company of anyone.

2.  Explore Life
One of my friends, talked about enjoying her singleness. Exploring all the things that she could without having to worry about taking care of kids, a family, etc.  Traveling without the thought of arranging a babysitter and or being back by a certain time....yessss!! There is so much to do and conquer in this world and a lot of time is spent worrying about Boaz...instead of getting every drop of milk out of the stage that you're in.  What haven't you done yet. What's on your bucket list and why haven't you started it yet.  I think sometimes the demise of marriages are because people haven't learned to live apart form their mate and so they become resentful and blame their mate for all of  the responsibilities that are keeping them hostage.  So you gotta know how to live!! How to balance and live!

3. Communication
Alas, from the young to the old...how to communicate is key! More importantly how to communicate so that you're heard. Relationships, rather its with family or friends, end, begin, restart, and or crumble because of communication. Either its too much, too little, or none.  So analyzing, are you a good communicator and how do you communicate, is essential. Is what your communicating congruent with what people are understanding from your communication.  If you don't know how to communicate or need a lot of work in that area....umm hold off on marriage lol. Lawd...cuz your communicating all the time, rather you verbalize or don't speak. Communication isn't just so you can be married...its for a better life and better relationships with those you love, period.

4. Fantasy vs. Life--- It Ain't for the faint in heart
I remember I was dating this guy and he has one of the most logical brains ever. He dropped a nugget that I still cherish till this day. He would say, Americans have this fantasy way of thinking about love....bumblegum and lollipops. They tolerate stuff because of the fantasy of the happy ending, when the real question that should be asked is if this person never changed, could you tolerate it for the rest of your life. Say it again. If this person never changed, could you tolerate it for the rest of your life. Asking that question can be applied to so many areas in our lives and would save us so much grief and heartache, if we asked it of ourselves.

5. Priorities
I could go on an on with this list...but I'll stop here with balance and priorities.  Life is a balancing act. There are so many things competing for our attention, our time, and our money, but its whether we have the ability to discriminate between the significant and insignificant. Shoes or rent? Vegas or Skills course? Are you able to sift thru life and identify the essentials.  Put things in their proper place before adding on more? Are you able to sacrifice right now for the greater outcome later on?  Those are things that should be considered.

 If you want to add some more feel free..but this is what I got from chillin with my homies:)