Swagged out/!!

I can't believe it's Tuesday...I really like to purge on Mondays lol...but I sat down to write and then ended up working and doing everything else except what I had intended to do. Surely, I know I'm not the only one that this has happened to lol... Well alas! I get a moment to reflect.

So this past weekend, the kiddies returned...and sometimes when they come back from the weekend it's almost like a roll of the dice. You just never know what your gonna get.   But this weekend was fairly cool. I'm learning that no matter how they come (no matter the mood) that it's important for me to be consistent..anyways, I digress.

 Back to this past weekend. Now, out of my three children the one who has the most mouth....is my middle son who's 12 years old. I won't say his name, as he is a kid of "swag," lol and me saying his name would "take away from his coolness/swag" I'm sure lol and it would embarrass him.  Nonetheless, he's the one who just has to be right or has to have the last word, no matter if he's right or wrong. I guess a christian, faith-filled, therapist, positive soul singer, shouldn't say that he makes me wanna decapitate him sometimes.... But who am I fooling...lol...God already knows. LOL!

But this weekend, I had to pat myself on the back and note some growth. So for the purpose of this blog, my middle son's name throughout this blog will be "Swag."  So Swag  comes home in a relatively good mood and I'm in a good mood too because  I sold all my G.I.G cookies (www.greenteasoul.com). Excuse the shameless plug.  So just chillin and having fun, I decide to make it rain (throw money in the air) and of course the boys grab up the money and high tail it. We call em back..and  somewhere Swag says Ma-T doesn't buy us anything except candy from the $1 store. I responded oh really...like the house you live in, the clothes on our back..yadda yadda.  He's like, Dad pays for it...or something like that. I was like, really. But unlike before....I let it roll off my back. Before I would have had the verbal artillery cocked, loaded, and fired like an automatic machine gun.... but I didn't I just kept it moving. Wee hee high five for me!

It did show me how little, children comprehend, and how much they take things for granted. I think that in the beginning of our  marriage, that it was the biggest sticking point for me....I felt they were unappreciative and took things for granted....complete shock. bwhahahahaa!! Now that I'm looking back, ha ha, most kids are unappreciative and or feel that parents are doing what they "supposed" to do. But I realize that I was looking through the lenses of my past,  growing up in the hood and so close to poverty.  I'm thinking, these ninjas got a nerve to be ungrateful when they're children who don't have it like this.  I'm bending over backwards to increase our money and I get sass lol.....sounding like my mother lol....and everything other parent of I've heard.

But what do my kids know....they've never experienced any different....they don't know about southeast dc and the things that can come with it. They've never experienced how it was or how  it could be, they just know how it is. Could I be angry that they have  it better then how I had it growing up and to put icing on the cake,  they don't appreciate it....pause. nahhhh...lol

So I'm patting myself on the back for not tripping out and not feeling like I had to convince a 12 year old, who pays the bills around here. Whats the use of trying to rationalize with a 12 year old...none at this point.

"What I Have to Do"

Today's a beautiful day. I did a little bit of work here and there, worked out, went to my favorite place (the library.....tryna see if the last season of "The Wire" has come in lol) and lounged in the pool reading a book....and capped it off with being naked for the rest of the day (I know TMI but WINNING). The house is quiet, with the exception of the hum of the air conditioning. I'm in a relatively good place.  I have a lot thoughts to process just from this past weekend...so I'll definitely be writing up some stuff soon....but not right now. Right now, I 'm enjoying every aspect of today. I don't know when I did this last...just stopped and savored the moments of the day.

I've  spent so much time over the past week or so complaining about feeling like I "have to" work my part-time job.  I've come to the realization that I don't like to "have to do" anything.... the "having to do stuff," is a turn off.  I'm a free bird and "having to do" something...feels like I'm being caged/trapped. Actually, my husband helped me come to that conclusion and he even had anecdotes  to illustrate his points. Oh, how I love a man who can support a premise lol. I digress.  Anyways, ironically, I just recently accepted that as a grown up, lol, there are things that I "have to do." So over the last couple of days, I've changed my disposition....instead of complaining (I actually got tired of hearing myself)... I'm focusing on the positives and the things I have and like about my part-time job and the opportunities it has afforded me. I think continuously  talking negatively about a situation...makes you feel worse then what it really is. Instead, I'm thanking God and appreciating where I am.  Appreciating the process to get to where I'd like to be. Ha Ha (i just LOL'd) I'm maturing. One day at a time. I'm really working on having my joy about life be set---- unchangeable.... no matter what comes my way. I'm working hard at not rushing this life process...but enjoying the moments day by day.

So today I'm not on the go...I'm chillin...and I'm bout to enjoy my naked moments...literally and figuratively...and get back in the pool!

Cheers to the weekend: Linaganore Wine Festival!

We Out'chea...so hot!!

It's Monday and for some reason Mondays have always been my favorite! It's the reset that it's a new start of the week.


Well, what can I say, I had a great weekend. This weekend, I had my husband all to myself and I so appreciate those moments. Every other weekend we have the kids, which is a great break & most times a much needed one. It's such a great way for us to just reconnect and build. I love it. I don't take these moments for granted because we don't have time to get into long disagreements that suck up the entire day...cuz the weekend would be gone. Although, I was tempted on Saturday because the boo is blunt, like me, at times (although no one would ever believe it lol), and he told me in so many words (after I came from the gym), that I stink and to go take a shower. I was all in my lovey dubby mood ha ha...he straight killed my vibe...short lived for sure.

I got upset...but got it together within the next 5 minutes. Turned on some old Kanye, college dropout. Hit the showers and got ready for the day. I think the positive in our relationship is that we can have a moment, get ourselves together, and come back to the day...and then talk about it.  I'm prob more sensitive then I've ever realized and I'm working on it. My husband knows how to bounce back way more quickly then I can. More work to do. I love that he can bounce back so quickly, yet he gets on nerves that he is so good with that. 

Me posing with the winery machine afte the winery tour lol!

Anywho, we went to the Linganore Wine Festival and had a great time!The food, the people, the wine tour, and just the experience of laughing and spending time with my favorite person is such a refresher. So many things happen on a day to day basis  and week to week...but when I'm with my best friend, like Lauryn Hill says, nothing else even matters.  Then the man who owns the Linganore winery shared their story, of how they started from hand crushing grapes to mass producing wine. I love hearing about dreams and how they came to fruition. They speak to me and encourage my own dream process. So needless to say the Linganore Wine Festival was great and I think we're going to go back again in October:)!

Overall, I feel there is a lesson in every interaction and experience and so my goal is to learn to bounce back within a minute instead of 5 to 10 minutes.  Make the best out of each moment, especially with my husband.  At the end of the day, I don't want to have so many minutes wasted:)

Here's a pic from the festival:) Aren't we just cute lol!