Green Tea's wedding 198
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts

Thursday, July 24, 2014

How I Became Pregnant!

Wowzers, the last time I blogged was in April.... 3 months ago....and in 3 months so much has changed. I guess the biggest change is that we're adding a +1 to our family....the never ending Cosby Show.  So we're going from a family of 7 to  8.  Now that I think about it, the last time I blogged, I was pregnant then and didn't even know it. 

Ha! I'm 4 months and some change. Since the realization of the positive plus sign, I'm reading books on babies, preparing my mind for the life changes,  still working out and teaching exercise classes, trying to control the incredible hulk (that wants to come out especially when denied certain foods),  preparing the kids for the change that is to come, etc.  All that and then some.

Things have been going so fast,  that I just wanted to take a moment and truly reflect on how we arrived here...ha ha besides the obvious deed that had to be done  lol!

As you all know, I got married November 2011...and it's always been my dream to birth children. I mean I have pictures and vision boards with pregnant ladies with my head stuck on them etc, all that. I seem to always start with a vision board or some type of physical representation to visualize what it is that I want.  Verbalize. Visualize, Materialize. ....though I think I actually visualize first, verbalize, then it materializes lol.

So when I got married, I knew from the jump that I did not want to have children right away, and that I wanted to be married for 2 years before adding a baby into the picture.  I was already marrying into an instant family so I wanted to adjust to having children and being married....def didn't want to do all things at one time. Though I knew I wasn't planning on having children in that first year it didn't stop me from buying my first onesie:) that I kept on a night shade in my room for 2 1/2 years:) I firmly believe in the principle that faith is acting on what you believe.

I continued to do stuff like this throughout the years.  Throughout the summer, I would attend garage sales as well.  I've always loved garage sales and so when I would see stuff that increased my vision, I would pick it up.  Last fall,  I got several cute unisex, practically new onesies, and day outfits for my baby. It only cost me a $1 or two to increase my vision. Ooh and I saw this cute bathing suit that I just couldn't resist. I set this bag right under the lampshade in my room.

Now when my husband and I decided to actually put forth the effort to make a baby and take other steps (like getting van in advance)  to accommodate the growth and even adding stickers of the new baby to the van....something unexpected happened (See post :2 yrs in and angry with God! *Shakes fist*). I wont' go into entire ordeal, but lets just say that the van that I got for my future baby was already filled to capacity....but not with children from my womb.

 So yes, I had my moments compounded with the act of trying to making a baby...compounded with the prior history of having a miscarriage in my early 20s (those instances try to wreak havoc in your mind)....and lastly not even realizing the science behind the timing, etc...def a bit more complicated then I thought. It was so frustrating. I mean the mere sight of my menses would send me into tears. I felt like a failure every time I saw my menses. I can remember crying to my husband feeling like I let him down.  The hardest part for me is that I could not control it.  I couldn't physically take his sperm and put it where I wanted and say Voila! I had to wait, be patient, and keep the faith.

Now during those times did i feel down....yes...oh but when you have a great mate and friends who speak life and not death to your situation. It really makes a difference. My husband always encouraged me...he would say things like, "You wait until little Psalm comes on the scene." He would hold me as I cried, yet he still spoke life. My friends would encourage me  (thank God for my sisters support and circle) and then God would stick his foot in my butt and direct back to my words and my vision. One of my friends encouraged me to do a pregnancy vision board....and on the back I put scriptures that spoke to me. I hung this on the lamp shade. During the  times I became discouraged, I went back to this.


There also came a point where, I stopped obsessing and trying to control the process and just let it go. And alas, here we are:). I am pregnant!....and it's not just because we followed the scientific process...but I believe it's because we acted on our faith and what we believed...that in a nutshell is how I got pregnant!








Wednesday, April 9, 2014

I'm Dating a Married Man! #Gluttony

A month or so ago I purchased a married man some tickets to an event called, #Gluttony, that was hosted by a premiere supper club called Arcane.  He did not know what to expect and neither did I but we went and had a blast. The concept, the artistry, the food, the fashion, the people....just awesome. I even saw Mr. White from Breaking Bad in the building. Everything was seamed together perfectly and then there was the music.

The music gave me life.  I was so in love with the DJ's mixes and I was also in love with the way this married man was watching me on the dance floor. I was oblivious to another man that  was watching me as well. He later proceeded to dance with me while I was slow winding to a reggae song. I watched as the married man watched the guy try to dance with me and then I noticed that the married man had walked away.

Hmm...I came there with the married man. Nonetheless, I danced a little with the guy, but kept my distance as reggae can become intense. The guy eventually got the message and walked off.

Later on I saw the married guy again watching me and so I went up to him and danced with him. I was like where did you go...he went to go get more food. I thought he was gonna save me when I was dancing with the other guy but instead he laughed and told me he thought it was funny...after all, he knows me.

Yes, this married man knows me all too well. I am his wife. Most importantly, I am his wife and yet I am still dating him and exploring our relationship. Now, I don't think we've ever been in a situation like that before ...a guy tries to grind or whatever...nor have we ever talked about what we do in that situation... but the fact that he was at ease and said "I know you." had me beaming the entire night. It's nothing like your man being confident and secure in what he has in his woman.  So yeah, I'm dating a married man:) and I'm loving every minute of it.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Friends, How Many of Us Have Them?

Over the past weekend, I hosted our sisters support circle, where every 3rd Sunday, a  diverse group of women come together to talk about different issues. Everyone's so intelligent and has a unique perspective that I learn and improve my life each time we meet.

Although the topic was on purpose and dreams, we touched on so many other topics, that we didn't even finish.  What hit home for me was the little side bar about friends.  It stemmed from an article, The Top 5 Regrets (http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dyingwhere the article talks about people's regrets before dying.

One of the regrets was that "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends"

I mentioned in an earlier blog posting called friends and marriage, how  I thought my friendships  were changing.But the phrasing of that regret,  I wish I had stayed in contact with my friends, hit home. It put the ownership of my connections on me. It reminded me of what my mother said when I asked her about friends and marriage.  She said, "some friendships in adulthood change, but friendships in adulthood aren't hard, they just take more work." A wise woman, but don't tell her I said that :)So i asked myself,Have I been doing my best to connect with my friends?  Am i in tune with the opportunities presented to connect?No. I'm a person of easiness, so i tend to avoid things that require work.

My idea of friendships "in my head" is that of the movies and books... The easiness of long girl talk coffee house sessions, trips to exotic places, knowing the ends and outs about everyone's lives... Basically, relationships that don't take work... Just easy like Sunday morning. But the reality is that me focusing on what friendships looked like "in my head" made me discount my friendships and see them as superficial.  I equated friendships with being easy going and requiring no effort. I didn't realize what I have. I was so busy focusing on my friends not reaching out to me that I didn't even realize that I wasn't reaching out to them as often as I could. I didnt realize the opportunities i had to redeem lost time because i was consumed with "their" lack of effort. The rapper Common said, "relationship is effort but I will match your work." Where is my effort?

I asked myself, how bad do I really want the relationships or connections. Am i willing to change, "I'm not a phone person, to being a phone person to get the connection i desire?" Am i asking about their lives?Just little stuff like that. How bad do I really want it?

I know I don't want to be on my death bed, regretting not keeping in contact with my friends. Instead, I want to say I'm glad that I kept in contact with my friends...and have them at my side. Sidebar: ain't nobody dying... Aiin't nobody got time for that... Rather be raptured lol

I'm just sayin... Whew a chestful