A million kids, a million things to do, but still on time !

I'm married to an on time husband. In fact, he's the guy who likes to be on time for everything ... including cookouts and house parties. I often have to beg him to be a lil late for the house parties. How many times we've been the first people at an event (hate that), I dare not count. So he's the punctual one... me on the other hand, not so much. In my mind, I'm punctual and I always have  high hopes to get out the house on time. For some reason, instead of going with my original game plan, I end up adding all these random non-essential tasks. I know I'm not the only one. I have no idea why i do it... but the end result is that I'm rushing,frustrated, and tense... But at least i got quite a bit done tho right?! Lol. Nope, because I end up forgetting the real stuff I was supposed to do. Welp, recently I had a training to attend and I had to be there early in the morning, 9 am (9 am during rush hour is no joke when you're driving from the sticks to the city).  So in my calendar, the training started at 9 am and I was rushing again. My anxiety was thru the roof as I had to get the baby ready along with her bottles etc., since hubby would have her all day (not to mention making sure I had all my travel breast pumping supplies). Sigh. I made it out the house, tho not at the time I wanted. I was stressed. I made it  to training with like a minute or two to spare only to realize that the training didn't start until 9:30 am. Woo hoo! Fist Pump! I had 30 mins to spare! At that moment, I took in how I was feeling. Relieved. Free. At peace. It felt good not rushing up until the minute. I even chilled out and pumped some milk in the car lol and did a periscope (I do pumptalk sessions: convos while pumping breast milk... Follow me @greenteasoul). I wrote in my little thoughts and idea pad, "when you have to be somewhere, plan 45 minutes to 1 hr ahead, you feel better when you're not rushing." I'm thinking that's the key to being on time when you a have a million kids and a million things to do, planning ahead. I've been applying this little trick me method and I've been on time and less stressed 3 times consecutively. I also remembered that this trick me method was something I used in grad school for my papers and assignments. If an assignment was due, I'd set an earlier due date:) My thinking back then was that I would have ample time just in case some last minute emergency came up. Now that I have all these kids ... It seems like something always comes up.  Like when I had just finished dressing Lollie ( my 7 month old) and she had a huge banana throw up explosion) ... Eew! But we still made it out the house in time wee hee! So I'm dusting off this trick me method, because it works for me. It's all about findiing what works for you. What are your tricks to being punctual?! 

What R &B Sensation, Kindred the Family Soul, Can Teach Us About Sex, Music, & Family

I'm always seeking to learn. Always. I think that the willingness to learn and increase your skill and information base is the ingredient that separates the average from above average.... the ordinary from the extra-ordinary. So, I was lead to search for people who are happily married, pursuing their dreams, while simultaneously building their families. I thought, they exist, right?!! Where are they?!!  What are the ingredients that they're using for their success?!! Let's share it with the world right?! So I sought out my first celebrity interview with Kindred the Family Soul..and here's what they had to say...

Iamnewlywed: I remember first seeing you all performing at a summer block party in Philadelphia on the same bill with a group called United Soul (now Ucity) in 2000, which was over 13/14 years ago. How much of your life has changed since then (music, family, relationships)?

Kindred the Family Soul: Everything and not much. Of course now we are 4 albums in, six children and traveled all over the world but the goals are the same. Make great music, be good to each other, raise a healthy family.

Iamnewlywed: Kindred the Family Soul is a successful R & B duo in the music industry with longevity (recently celebrating 10 years in the industry), what are some of the lessons that you've learned as a result of having a career in music?

Kindred the Family Soul: Business is not always so kind to creativity. You must be grateful and patient. What is for you is for you, comparing your career to others is a big mistake. Be an expert at being you.

Iamnewlywed: What is it like to balance individual life/dreams, marriage life/dreams, family life/dreams, and music/ dreams? Does one suffer at the expense of another?

Kindred the Family Soul:   There are moments when you must prioritize as in any persons life. We try to be practical and communicate with each other and our children so no one feels slighted. There are times when we all have been disappointed but we are committed to each other and find ways to take up the slack.

Iamnewlywed: How have you been able to maintain your relationship, your music, and your family?

Kindred the Family Soul:  prayers, the prayers of others. God's grace and mercy. Patience. Arguments. Forgiveness. Love. Desire.

Iamnewlywed: On Instagram, we see postings of your children singing, having birthdays, school shopping, and enjoying their childhood. How many children do you have, what are their age ranges, and how do you maintain a sense of connectedness and normalcy while adhering to the demands of your tour schedules?

Kindred the Family Soul: Six. 3 to 14. We talk to them...a lot. We enjoy their company. We discipline them. We try to help them understand that this is "our" normal. Some parents go to an office, we sing. Mostly God blessed us with awesome kids. Flawed, funny,smart,loving, awesome freakin kids.

Iamnewlywed:What are the 10 major ingredients to your relationship that has led you to a successful marriage?

Kindred the Family Soul: Patience, Forgiveness, Kindness, Passion, Faith, Commitment, Laughter, Strength, honesty, Sacrifice All have been learned and we still struggle with some of them. but they are essential and we know it.

Iamenewlywed: Reminiscing on your newlywed state, what are the top 5 things people need to know before entering a marriage?

Kindred the Family Soul: You will have major challenges that you cannot predict so be patient when they arrive. You can do it. Make your own rules. Listen. Take accountability.

Iamnewlywed: Fatin, what are the things men need to know? Aja, what are the things women need to know?

Kindred the Family Soul: Make no expectations that are not based in conversation and agreement with your spouse. Make it short and sweet but clear and to the point
Love him up...always
Never underestimate the power of lack of sex to destroy your relationship

Iamnewlywed:You have total of 4 albums: Surrender to Love, In This Life Together, The Arrival, and Love Has No Recession, and if you had to choose, what album/ song is your favorite, and for what reason?

Kindred the Family Soul: Don't have a favorite. Love them all equal and for different reasons

Iamnewlywed: What do you want your supporters to take from your music?

Kindred the Family Soul: Honesty, relatability, and inspiration

Iamnewlywed:You are conquering music and family life, so what else can we expect from Kindred the Family Soul in 2014?What's next?

Kindred the Family Soul: Community service

Iamnewlywed:What legacy would you like to leave behind for your supporters and for your children?

Kindred the Family Soul: Use your art/ experience to inspire your life and and others 

Thank you Kindred the Family Soul for these jewels. All I can say is that the wisdom shared in this interview is priceless.  It was truly an honor interviewing Kindred the Family Soul. Please go out and support them by purchasing their albums,  attending their concerts, and following them on social media. Check out their website at www.Kindredthefamilysoul.com and get their albums on iTunes:)

Also, what were the jewels and nuggues that shined brightly to you?! I would love to hear your thoughts and insight!

Here's a couple of mine:  The way my family is...is our "normal."
"Never underestimate the power of lack of sex in destroying a relationship"....  wow!

What are some of yours?!!

How to Make Room for "You" This Year!

This year's in full effect and it's already moving so fast. We're in the 2nd week of January, my kids resumed school this past Monday, I have my vision board completed, yet there's so much to do. My mind is swarming with all of my dreams and goals for this year, along with life's demand's and things that need to be done with my husband, my family, etc. I've been so busy trying get so much done... scheduling doctor's appointments, following up with my kid's schools, I forgot about including moments for myself.

It's amazing that yesterday, when I was sending an e-mail to my greenteasoul zumba army (fitness club) about attending their zumba sessions,  I told them to  PUT IN PEN (not pencil), A Date for Themselves...schedule  time in their agenda's, phone calendars, and block it out as unavailable. We do it for everything else, work, church, seminars, school, etc; however, we normally don't apply the same principle as it concerns ourselves.   Why is that?! We do everything for everybody else and then by the time we're finished, we're spent and have no energy left for ourselves. It leaves us drained and frustrated. Bump that lol!  My e-mail to them was a reminder to myself, "What time have you scheduled so that "You" are included in your day?" Blank Stare. I had none scheduled. So what happens when you don't purposefully schedule time for yourself. Time dissipates just like sand thru the hour glass and before you know it the day is over.

So I've decided, that there's no time like the present to get it going.  I'm not going to go thru the motions and get lost living and doing the operations of life. Instead, I'm going take moments to breathe, feel, and be life. Plus, with so much going own, a pause for the cause is essential, for our mental health. So here we go.

1. Write a list of at least 5-7 things that bring you joy that can be done 1-5 mins.
Depending on your schedule, you could have longer times to spare, just start with "some time" and stick to it.

My list:
-write one thing that you're thankful for: a moment to appreciate one thing makes me smile and laugh and lets me know...life isn't bad

-light a candle/spray a home spray mist/air freshener - smell -it  it's something about a great smell that just takes me to another place:) Aromotherapy:)

-identify a song that you love - sing it or dance to it- singing and dancing always brings me joy!

-take a walk around the block and look up at the sky and trees- I love nature and appreciate beauty

-find youtube clips that make you laugh- right now my thing is to search for laughing babies- they tickle my socks   (laughter is medicine)

-hot tea moment: have a cup of hot tea and just breathe:)

- make something:): sometimes drawing, crocheting, a cartoon:) just makes me happy

2. Now schedule your time:) what specific time will your me time be? Put it in your phone, your outlook email calendar:) and set a reminder:)

I like the mornings or middays but everyone is different.  This week I'm going for 9:30 am:) Remember its only 1-5 minutes to start:)


3. Plot your list in your calendar during the scheduled time  You can doing something different everyday, or do one thing daily for a week...

 here's my list
Tues:  write one thing I'm thankful for:)

Wed: candle/mist  (i''mma add looking at my paris calendar:)  while i'm doing my aromatherapy

Thurs: song that I love

Fri: Walk

Sat: laugh at Baby Youtube clips

4. No social media or phone interruptions during your date... (this is the date with you)


5. Do it and stay committed:) and notice the difference:)

I would love to hear some of your ideas for your simple 1-5 min joys:) that way we can switch it up:) so let me hear your ideas and what you're going to do:)

What do you think of me?!!

Well I've been having a blast over the past couple of weeks with my husbands staycation!! He has been off work for two weeks!! Yippee!! I can't express how awesome its been just enjoying my husband. My dream would be for him to stay at home with me and we just travel the world, visiting diff bed and breakfasts, and writing about our experiences....that would be so awesome. But we are not there just yet. In the midst of enjoying my hubsters, school has commenced and with that are the early mornings etc... And all the business that comes with school. 

Well before school started, I did an exercise with the family taken from one of the various books I've been reading. The exercise was to list positive things about  each person in the family. So we did it. At the end, I took everyone's list and created one individual list comprised of all the postive thoughts for each person gave it to them at the end.  I was utterly amaZed about what the children thought of me. I mean amazed. There were descriptions like "lives life." I didn't even know they noticed. Lol. 

I gave them all their lists and they enjoyed it!  I keep my list and look it at from time I time as encouragement in the moments where I feel like my kids are purposefully trying to hurt and or be mean to me. Helps me to get past that moment more swiftly. Try it with your kids and friends. I'd def like to try this with my family and friends too:) 

Just wanted to let them know that at the end of they day... This is what we think of you:)

Dreams vs. Marriage?! Which wins?!!

I thought I'd have time to write a new post yesterday, but I didn't. After taking the Zumba training to become a licensed zumba instructor, I was beyond pooped. As we speak  my abs, ham strings, and glutes are soooore but i got that license lol. It's official, I'm licensed to teach Zumba, a goal that was on this years dream board:) One marked off the list lol *insert fist pump*

Dream,dreams,dreams!!! I have so many and thank God for a husband who encourages them all. Special kudos to those who've married free spirits and dreamers ..... Cuz we have different dreams by the seconds and minutes. It def takes a special kind to support and nurture us:) I ain't Lyin!

Well this morning, superman and I were taking about our dreams and how they have changed etc. From time to time we do family and marriage devotional (crosswalk.com) and this one had the following questions:

Have you ever had to give up any of your dreams for someone?
• How do you feel now about those old dreams?
• What new dreams do you have for yourself and for us as a couple?

How will you help each other to accomplish your dreams?

How ironic because I'd already planned to write this post. 

Reflecting, in the beginning of "IAMNEWLYWED" state, i was angry, because I felt I had to give up some of my dreams to be what I thought a family should be. I took off singing for a while to adjust to married life when I didn't have to.... But that's what I thought I had to do.... Only after talking to superman did I realize I didn't have to. 

Now, I think that I can have my dreams and be married. I do feel that there is something that I have to relinquish as a result of being married... And that is the impulsivity... The having what I want when I want it... I have to give that up.  So sometimes as it concerns some of my dreams, I have to exhibit patience and trust in God that "my time" will not escape me. Just like in the case of Zumba... I originally wanted to do it last August but our family was in the process of moving and so I waited.  "My time" didn't escape me, even though I got the license a year later.  I'm learning that I don't trust God as much as I thought. I'm working on it tho! In the meantime, let the Zumba parties commence!!

The Silver lining: Coolin

In my moment of sadness yesterday, I had a choice. Would I wallow in the sadness or keep it moving. I chose the latter and got in the pool. I thought I was gonna chill alone, relaxing on the floatie, when the kids returned to the pool.... And I do mean returned, as they had previously left, to watch television. Now, I have seen this happen with my husband ... As soon as he gets in, all the kids get in or as soon as he does something, everyone wants to do it. He's a magnet like that.  It hadn't happened with me though. But yesterday it happened.  I'm noticing that its happening more and more:). The kids feeling more comfortable to share space. What a silver lining. I'm doing a better job at noticing the small changes. It was cool just noticing the small influence I made yesterday by deciding not to let a moment ruin the day. 

Here's a pic from one of our coolin days. I should have taken a pic yesterday but it was too hot to be concerned with anything other than swim time lol!