How to overcome those that hate you!

I wish I could say that being a mother in a blended family was as easy as pie, but I can't. In fact, it's been one of my biggest challenges. It's the challenge of doing everything you can for your children without the appreciation.... doing everything for your children, tho there's the lingering scent of hate and "you're not my mother," in the air (sometimes this is perpetuated via the biological parent.. But that's a whole nother topic).  Welp, that's how it was when I first married Tron, especially with the oldest girl.

I got the blues. I felt like I was being spit in the face... repeatedly. But, I kinda knew what I signed up for. Previously to being married, I had a dream about the kids and they said, "you're not my mother" and I replied, "I know. I'm not tryna be." So I kinda expected a little bit of friction but not to the extent that I experienced.

I can remember stuff with my eldest daughter where she would try to purposely sit in the back to avoid sitting next to me.  Other times she'd be the ring leader of her brothers to cause negativity and or strife in the room.  If I said left, best believe she was gonna say right.  I remember this one conversation where I gave her permission to hate me. I told her that no matter what she did she wouldn't be able to push me away from caring for her or expecting the best of her. I told her regardless of how she felt, I would stay the same and continue to love her. And I did. It wasn't easy.... But it got easier.

I communicated with her when she hurt me. I made sure she knew that I had feelings too. I cried to my husband and to my sisters when it got really difficult. But most of all, I prayed, journaled, and continue to speak life and do activities with her and the family.  I think that's the secret to overcoming those who hate you... To literally love the hell out of them lol! I believe that love transforms ... Which brings me to now.

My daughter and I recently took a trip together to New York... Yup the same one who didn't want to be alone with me. We had a great time. It was so awesome to see and eat the fruit of my prayers. I think the fruit manifested because I didn't allow how she treated me to take root in my heart. I didn't allow how I was being treated to affect or corrupt how I cared for her. I am her bonus mom. I'm not perfect and I have learned throughout this process. I know how to overcome those that hate you:

1. Love the hell out of them. Kill them with kindness and the love of God.

2. Pray the word of God over your situation. Ask for guidance.

3. Speak your dream, not what you're experiencing 

4. Commit & continue regardless of how it seems.

A million kids, a million things to do, but still on time !

I'm married to an on time husband. In fact, he's the guy who likes to be on time for everything ... including cookouts and house parties. I often have to beg him to be a lil late for the house parties. How many times we've been the first people at an event (hate that), I dare not count. So he's the punctual one... me on the other hand, not so much. In my mind, I'm punctual and I always have  high hopes to get out the house on time. For some reason, instead of going with my original game plan, I end up adding all these random non-essential tasks. I know I'm not the only one. I have no idea why i do it... but the end result is that I'm rushing,frustrated, and tense... But at least i got quite a bit done tho right?! Lol. Nope, because I end up forgetting the real stuff I was supposed to do. Welp, recently I had a training to attend and I had to be there early in the morning, 9 am (9 am during rush hour is no joke when you're driving from the sticks to the city).  So in my calendar, the training started at 9 am and I was rushing again. My anxiety was thru the roof as I had to get the baby ready along with her bottles etc., since hubby would have her all day (not to mention making sure I had all my travel breast pumping supplies). Sigh. I made it out the house, tho not at the time I wanted. I was stressed. I made it  to training with like a minute or two to spare only to realize that the training didn't start until 9:30 am. Woo hoo! Fist Pump! I had 30 mins to spare! At that moment, I took in how I was feeling. Relieved. Free. At peace. It felt good not rushing up until the minute. I even chilled out and pumped some milk in the car lol and did a periscope (I do pumptalk sessions: convos while pumping breast milk... Follow me @greenteasoul). I wrote in my little thoughts and idea pad, "when you have to be somewhere, plan 45 minutes to 1 hr ahead, you feel better when you're not rushing." I'm thinking that's the key to being on time when you a have a million kids and a million things to do, planning ahead. I've been applying this little trick me method and I've been on time and less stressed 3 times consecutively. I also remembered that this trick me method was something I used in grad school for my papers and assignments. If an assignment was due, I'd set an earlier due date:) My thinking back then was that I would have ample time just in case some last minute emergency came up. Now that I have all these kids ... It seems like something always comes up.  Like when I had just finished dressing Lollie ( my 7 month old) and she had a huge banana throw up explosion) ... Eew! But we still made it out the house in time wee hee! So I'm dusting off this trick me method, because it works for me. It's all about findiing what works for you. What are your tricks to being punctual?!